Depression and Promises

So, I haven’t been posting. At all. Which is really crappy because I promised myself AND all of you that I would. So, I’m sorry.

It’s been a depressing month. My job has been rough. My lupus and psoriasis has been out of control. The anxiety about the coronavirus pandemic is really bothering me. And I’ve been in the deepest, darkest depression of my life.

It’s kind of ironic really. I wrote a book on depression. And then I got super depressed. Maybe I should have predicted this?

But, needless to say, work and college have been all I could handle in the last month (or so) that I’ve been away. I still apologize for breaking my promise, but mostly because I made the promise in the first place.

Because I have a mental disorder. Of course I wasn’t going to be able to post regularly like normal, healthy, motivated people! Depression saps all of that motivation, that ambition, away and leaves a dry husk of a human shell behind that struggles to simply survive. Thriving was a long way away.

So, yeah. No promises like that anymore. But I can promise this: I won’t give up. Disappear for a while? Maybe. Talk about dark relationships and messed up stuff. Probably. But never give up.

Never surrender.

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