I have depression, anxiety, PTSD, several phobias, am co-dependent, and am slightly disassociative. This has made me struggle with many things in my life, but especially in achieving my dreams. Of owning a blog. Of becoming an author. Of becoming a homesteader. Of being married and having kids. Of travelling.
I honestly could go on for a while.
But one day, not too long ago, I woke up and said, “No more.” I have enough pain and sadness in my life and I’m tired of my dreams being yet another source of it.
I decided to make my dreams happen.
Not all at once, of course. For one, I’m not rich. For another, it wouldn’t be realistic to even try. My mental illnesses don’t mean I can’t succeed in life, but they DO mean that I have to go a little slower than the average Joe (or Josie, as the case may be).
So, I started to plan.
Now, I haven’t been entirely successful. For one, I planned to write a blog 2 months ago. I also planned to publish my e-book of poetry before I was 30. I’m 2 weeks late on that deadline. Not to mention, I planned to steadily release poems and pictures on Instagram every day as a little teaser about my book coming out.
None of that has gone as planned. For one, I’m not as steady as I like. I’m determined to write a blog post on here twice a week, but I’ve had to be honest with myself and realize, every day is just too much for my poor brain.
For another, time sometimes just…gets away from those of us with mental illnesses.
But I’m not beating myself up over those lapses anymore. I’m just continuing on anyway, in the face of those defeats, and slowly, steadily, my dreams are happening.
It’s not as perfect as my slight OCD tendencies wanted it. It isn’t as complicated, either, which means my poor brain can make it happen even with it’s lapses.
What I’m trying to say, folks, is this: There is hope.
If you have a mental illness, and even if it isn’t on my list, don’t let it be the reason you let go of your dreams. You might not get there as fast as you want, but you WILL get there. Just keep swimming! You’ll make it.
I finally believe that.